I believed I was rubbish at relationships, but then...
/
PHOTO: ISSIE FREEMAN
I believed I was rubbish at relationships.
After all, I'd failed hadn't I? I had evidence in the form of ex boyfriends where others had husbands. 36 and incapable of maintaining a romantic relationship.
What a failure I was, off course, desperately behind in the order of things.
Feeling stuck, frustrated but ready to open up again to the idea of a relationship I sought the advice of a coach...and reflected on the TRUTH.
You talk of great, long held, healthy friendships she said.
I reflected, and spoke of friendships, some spanning luxuriously over 28 years. I spoke of friends who turned up on my doorstep moments after a break-up, comforting me as I sobbed. Friends who travelled 100's of miles simply to celebrate my turning of age; sitting with friends as they opened up about their biggest fears and regrets; celebrating new jobs, graduations, marriages, births..
For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health—I was there for it all, as they were there for me through it all.
It dawned on me as I spoke how I had been blinded by the belief that only romantic relationships were worthy of note & celebration; providing evidence of my worth and success in life.
...but slowly the veil lifted and I saw the TRUTH, it had always been there buried beneath the beliefs I'd held.
The TRUTH being, I AM capable & skilled at creating loving, healthy, long-lasting and soul nourishing friendships. Celebrating this over the past few months has only served to allow them to flourish more.
With this new found confidence in my ability to hold relationships and knowing I am supported by these loving friends has given me the bravery I needed to step back into the dating world.
I can step forward glowing with the knowledge that whatever the outcome I am loved, supported and already living out EPIC love stories.
